Maddy Leigh

To the past me, 

I didn’t expect it to look like this either.

I’m not mad at you. I’m not ashamed of you or what happened. 

I know you care so much about everyone that enters your life, that’s why you may stay too long. When red flags wave in your face, to you, they are glimmering in the sun. If only you could have seen that even blood shines in the light at times. 

I know you choose to view the best in everyone. Your optimism is inspiring. You have had such highs, you were on the peak of a mountain! Unfortunately, the only way to go from there, the top, is down. 

What do the 17-year-old girl and 21-year-old girl have in common? They both did their best with what was happening in their head, heart, and home. 

I forgive you for being scared. I forgive you for building walls. I forgive you for not knowing all the answers and not acting in accordance with the expectations of society. I forgive you for FEELING the way you did all this time.

I forgive you for everything. I am freeing you of your past.

In fact, I am so damn proud of you. I think you would love the person I am today.

We are so damn strong. We stand taller with our eyes being more open than they have been before. We have overcome so much. Yes, the scars may sit deep in our tissue for the remainder of our life, but we healed these scars and grew muscle around them. We should not see the world as we do, but we defy the odds and still find that glimmer of hope; we look at the world every single day and are thankful for life. 

I forgive you for taking so long to finally start living life and taking risks. You did it; that is what’s important

Btw the sun did rise again though we thought it never would. I will continue living for you, for me, and for the person we have yet to meet. 

Thank you.