It’s good to feel. It’s healthy to feel.
Your inner voice may convince you it’s better to hide what you feel and pretend to be okay, pretend to be happy, pretend to be healthy. But when you rely on this tactic, you begin to hold on by a single thread.
A single thread that is holding on to everything. Exhaustion takes over and you can no longer function like you once had. At this point, your emotions, stressors, and feelings may cause everything to come crumbling down. It’s as if everything you’ve tried so hard to hide is a black cloud, pillowing over the hills towards your city.
What sensations overcome you as you imagine this?
Fear? Anxiety? Sadness? Guilt? Is a part of you happy to finally face these feelings?
When your city’s skies become clouded, so does your mind. You don’t think straight.
You begin to believe the voices, the negative thoughts.
You begin to act in ways that may not even coincide with your beliefs.
You are not ‘you’.
I can’t tell you how to clear your sky, because I get the feeling that’s not up to us. Maybe that’s something we can’t control; instead, it’s something we adapt from, and give that power to Mother Nature.
Slowly, without noticing, the skies begin to clear.
Though Dark clouds still loom over your city, Daylight shines through, showing you new avenues, new places, new people that you didn’t notice before. These rays of sunshine are helping us heal, and feel.
Eventually, the storm passed. There are still cloudy days where you are reminded of the pain, the feelings of the past and present. However, the daylight will always come through for you.
The truth is, no matter how hard you try to hide these feelings, the truth, from yourself and from the outside world, you feel everyday.
You feel the heat of the Sun on our skin.
You feel the smooth first sip of Coffee.
You feel the warmth from another human’s touch.
You feel the comfort in a hug and find home in their arms.
You feel the wind as you drive with the windows down, blasting your favorite tunes.
You feel the kindness from a stranger in their smiles as they pass.
You feel the love and affection from your loved ones’ hearts.
You feel everything, but convince yourself you feel nothing at all.
You are Feeling. You are Trying. You are doing the best you can, and that is all anyone can ever ask of you.
Maddy Leigh 