Maddy Leigh

I think we go through life, battle after battle, wound after wound, and we become unrecognizable.

At least, I couldn’t recognize myself for the longest time. I would stare in the mirror, and question how I got into this situation. I would cry for more than I want to admit, just wishing I could be laughing again. I honestly wondered if I’d ever really laugh again. You know, the laugh that is so real it hurts or the laugh that is such an odd noise but, that’s you! Where did I go? When did she leave? I didn’t just lose her overnight. She had been slowly drifting away for months, and I hadn’t realized that I was becoming numb.

The thing is, just because we can’t recognize ourselves, doesn’t mean there is not a person there. What we are looking for is the old version of ourselves that we sheltered and took care of for years. The truth is, we have lost them. What’s in front of us? This new version of ourselves which at first, is unrecognizable.

The you that you once were had never experienced what you have now. They never witnessed how evil the world can be. They never felt the sorrow and pain that you have. They also never got through all of that. They never made it to the end of the chapter, the end of the book; but you did.

I believe we do leave parts of us wherever we go, and with whoever we meet. Almost like footprints. Some are washed away fast, and others are imprinted on their hearts. Perhaps we lose ourselves in leaving too many pieces of us with our peers. Those with giving hearts just give, give, give… Until there is nothing left to give anymore. All along, I thought that my life was falling apart. Now, I believe my life was falling into place.

I believe in the saying “everything happens for a reason.” Sometimes, it is hard to keep that faith when you are hurt, or when you are grieving. But as time goes on, I begin to see the bigger picture. Life is too short to think so much about one little thing at work. Life is too short to hold a grudge about an argument with a peer. Life is too short. There is so much to look forward to in the future and be grateful for in the present. Sometimes when I look in the mirror now, I just smile. I can’t believe that this girl is standing in front of me. The things she’s done. The dreams she’s achieved already. The challenges she’s faced. She’s a warrior.

Wherever you are, whoever you are, if you get one thing out of this mumble jumble, let it be this. 

Your past does not define you. 

Every day is a new day and a new chance at life.

You never know what could happen, so why not do it? Why not try?

Go do the things you’ve dreamed of. Go do the things you’ve been pushing off. Go be with your friend. Go ask out the person you like. Go scream music in the middle of the night. You only get one life. You may not realize it, but every day, you’re falling into place. Into place that you’ll live the rest of your life. Into the place that you are meant to be in next. Though it may be a bit morbid, we are all falling slowly, and one day we will fall for the last time.